My 80s?

            I thought when I hit my 80s I would settle into a more or less comfortable routine. Yes, there would be health concerns, and perhaps some mobility and memory issues, but Kim and I would have a home, maybe a condo, perhaps with help available from family and friends, or perhaps with some hired help. But we would be settled.

 

            Well, it’s not been that kind of year! We have made offers on ten different homes, but nothing has led to a purchase. In some cases it was because of the contractor’s inspection. Sometimes it was our inspection. Sometimes we were outbid. I’ve written before about how our pulling out of a planned purchase of a co-op in Ann Arbor, when we discovered some serious problems that had been hidden from us, cost us $15,000 in earnest money. But we were feeling pretty good these last few weeks because we had a firm offer to purchase our Bark House, and we were due to close on October 11, and with that in mind we made an offer on a condo in Traverse City. But our buyers pulled out three days before closing. And they hired an attorney to say they would not relinquish their earnest money – a substantial amount. Fortunately, our realtor’s company had an attorney to argue why we should get that all that earnest money. We have three times had to forfeit some or all of our earnest money deposit, and it’s time we got some back. We also had to pull out of our deal to purchase the Traverse City condo.

 

            What makes this especially difficult, in addition to the financial burden (forfeited earnest money, costly contractor’s inspections, some legal fees), is our emotional investment. With each of the houses there is an investment in imagining how we will live, and what we need to do to make it happen. Kim, especially, decorates these future homes during her insomnia hours – choosing paint colors, selecting furniture, deciding what we will take, what we will try to sell, what needs replacing, etc. She also has spent a lot of her late nights packing stuff that we were going to move to the condo. We had contacted a mover and reserved a storage unit. After the cancellation we spent a few wonderful days looking (online) at a spectacular condo in Atlanta, converted from an old cotton mill. (The development is called the Stacks, if you want to look it up.) It’s where our daughter lives, and that is very appealing, but we finally concluded that its 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom size would not work for us, despite the 71 foot ceiling, and we are too old for the snowbird drive. We made an offer, pulled out, then remade it, then pulled out again. We are a realtor’s nightmare.

 

            So now we are right where we were a year ago: in a home we love but is a lot of work. No prospects for selling it – and we can’t sell it while our failed buyer is contesting the forfeiture of the earnest money. We have gone back to our morning search of listings in Traverse City, Ann Arbor, and now, Atlanta.

 

            It’s exhausting. Fortunately, we are each pretty good at helping each other with stress – an affliction that hits me harder than it does my practical wife. I’m fond of my comfortable routines. It was Kim who suggested, in response to intense encouragement from our daughter, to make this last chapter of our life an adventure. Let’s really have fun and do some cool stuff! Let’s move to that awesome condo in the Stacks in Atlanta! I made an offer and felt a rush of excitement – or was it anxiety? I figured that I can probably make the transition to excitement if I can find the Fast Forward button to get me through the real estate transactions and the move. But then my practical but dull brain kicked in, and I withdrew my offer – fortunately, before earnest money was involved.

 

            Now, what? Is the universe telling us to stay in our beloved Bark House, in spite of the isolation and the amount of work involved?

 

            But wait! We found another condo on the Stacks, and it cost less than the Tower unit, is a bit bigger, and is on the first floor, not the fifth. We are making an offer . . ..

 

            Stay tuned!

 

                        “If you are not in transition, you are in denial.”