Meetings

Some years ago I did some consulting work with my brother Bob, and one of the pieces we came up with is the document below. When I say “we,” I mean that all of the ideas and most of the language are Bob’s, but I used it for some work I did with Pfizer. Here’s what we/he came up with:

 

Which Meetings Are a Waste of Time?

Meetings often have a purpose beyond work on the ongoing project. You may have gone to meetings like those listed below.

1.    “Shut Up and Listen” This type of meeting involves transfer of information from the leader to the group. The leader talks; the members listen. There are better and cheaper ways to transfer information: e-mail, for one.

2.    “You Talk, I’ll Listen” Here the leader wants input: information and ideas. Typically a discussion of ideas guides a decision he/she will make. This is usually a waste of people’s time. Electronic or voice mail queries and responses will accomplish 99% of the objectives.

3.    “We’ll Decide” This type of meeting uses a process of group decision-making. These should be face-to-face for team building and for the synergy that can result. “We’ll Decide” meetings don’t work when the heat is on and a quality analysis and decision are required quickly, but if managed well, they are usually productive.

4.    “Go, Team” Team building meetings are ones where the purpose is to make people feel a certain way—become more dedicated, more committed, etc. A goal here is to create a sense of common purpose and team identity. The real subject matter here is a set of values, and the meetings must be face-to-face.

5.    “I’m the Boss (and You’re Not)” This is a variation of “Shut Up and Listen,” but here, from the head of the table, the boss is communicating a feeling—of superiority, power and status. The louder the boss shouts about being the boss, the less respect he/she earns. These are usually counterproductive—a waste of everyone’s time.

6.    “Show and Tell” Presentations are made not only to communicate information but also to expose the Junior to the Senior Team Members. Through feedback they develop their talents and learn the standards expected when you play with the Varsity. These face-to-face meetings are important learning experiences for the organization.

7.    “Because It’s Thursday” These have no purpose. The group meets because that is when it is scheduled to meet, and it would look bad if they failed to meet.

8.    “Who Knows?” This type is a mish-mash of the previous seven. The style changes direction with each item on the agenda, so nobody knows what kind of participation is expected. These meetings are the longest, the least functional, and the most frequent.

Cancel unnecessary meetings. For needed ones, clarify for the team what kind of meeting it is and what kind of participation is expected.

(Adapted from the work of Robert A. Stringer, Jr.)

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It occurs to me now that Bob’s insights can be applied, with a few adjustments, to family settings, often at the dinner table.

Which Family Conversations Are a Waste of Time?

“Shut Up and Listen” This type of conversation involves transfer of information from the wife to the group. She talks, everyone else listens. This is an important way to find out what you are doing wrong, so you should treasure this type of meeting.

You Talk, I’ll Listen” Here the leader wants input: information and ideas. Supposedly a discussion of ideas guides a decision he/she will make. This is usually a waste of people’s time because the decision has already been made.

“We’ll Decide” This type of conversation uses the illusion of group decision-making to improve morale. These are valuable as long as you don’t use them to make real decisions, especially if you are outnumbered.

“Go, Team” Team building meetings are ones where the purpose is to make people feel a certain way—become more dedicated, more committed, etc. A goal here is to create a sense of common purpose and team identity. Ignore this one if teenagers are involved.

“I’m the Boss (and You’re Not)” This is a variation of “Shut Up and Listen,” but here, from the head of the table, the boss is communicating a feeling—of superiority, power and status, a message designed to mask insecurity, uncertainty, and impotence. The louder the boss shouts about being the boss, the less respect he/she earns. These can be amusing if you understand what is really going on. Not so amusing if you are the one doing the shouting.

“How Was Your Day?” Presentations are made not only to communicate information but also to demonstrate that you actually care about someone other than yourself. This kind of meeting can be very valuable if you actually listen rather than just waiting for your turn to talk.

“Because It’s Six O’Clock” These have no purpose. It’s like sitting down for a family dinner where the only goal is to eat. The group meets because that is when it is scheduled to meet, and it would look bad if they failed to meet.

“Who Knows?” This type is a mish-mash of the previous seven. The style changes direction with each item on the agenda, so nobody knows what kind of participation is expected. These meetings are the longest, the least functional, and the most frequent. Enjoy them.